THE GOON #35

THE GOON #35
Script by: Eric Powell
Illustrated by: Evan Dorkin
Dark Horse Comics

First thing: whiskey pinatas should be real.
I had to put that out there. But the Goon
And Franky don't get whacks 'til late. I'll deal.
Instead they find a carny, Brigadoon
It's called (it's crying for a sonnet, no?).
They're hunting a small freak who made them crash.
Meanwhile, this show is for the freaks, who go
All out to gawk at "normals" and a stash
Of "normal" pieces. What sells this for me
Is Franky's dialogue, and easter eggs
From Dorkin's pencils. You have got to see
Those for yourself, for this comic, it begs
Close scrutiny. The mayhem's off the scale!
And, of course, super-wrong, yes, without fail.

Rich Johnston's IRON MUSLIM #1

IRON MUSLIM #1
Script by Rich Johnston
Illustrated by Bryan Turner
Boom! Studios

Avengers parodies are all the rage!
Good thing I've seen the movies, though, for I
Eschew these comics. Still, I turn each page
And laugh anew. Al Stark is just this guy
In old Iraq, who has now to pretend
Fanaticism, all so he can make
His bombs and gadgets. Of course, he can bend
All to his will, can even go and take
A drone for parts to pimp his metal suit.
His backstory is funny but the tale
Of killing Lady Liberty's a hoot!
And speaking of the movies, one can't fail
To note a certain cynicism re
The exploitations on the screens we see.

ATOMIC ROBO: THE FLYING SHE-DEVILS OF THE PACIFIC #1

ATOMIC ROBO: THE FLYING SHE-DEVILS OF THE PACIFIC #1
Script by: Brian Clevinger
Illustrated by: Scott Wegna
Red 5 Comics

The pulp's gone airborne! Here we have jetpacks
Made out of surplus gear from World War Two,
An airship, dogfights, mystery attacks
All up there in the clear and filmy blue.
A sly allusion to the unmanned drones
The U.S. likes to send, may, too, appear
(Though I might be projecting). If your jones
Is for the skies, our Robo has you, fear
You not! Oh, and our foe is girls, whose flight
Seems to astonish Robo, though his awe
Is for their gear. And Hazel, Lauren might
Just steal your heart (or punch you in the jaw).
They salvage death machines, to keep them out
Of evil Axis hands (hint: not a kraut).

WITCH DOCTOR #3

WITCH DOCTOR #3
Script by: Brandon Seifert
Illustrated by: Luka Ketner
Image Comics

How can such beauty be so freaking sick?
"The Patient from the Black Lagoon" is slabbed
(And gorgeous). Penny wants to do her trick
(She likes to eat those monsters) -- have I grabbed
Your fancy yet? Well, it's a Deep One, too!
Straight out of Lovecraft! Watch our Doctor get
All nerdy on the subject, crying "Ooh
His lungs are gone!" The chance for to dissect
A magic benthic dweller -- would you not
Geek out just like he did? Is it his fault
Things turn out badly? Poor wee Penny's got
So peckish... fetch some vampires from the vault!
Meanwhile, Cthulhu's tapeworms! History
Has ne'er been told so well, if  you ask me.

Sonneteer's note: "Cthulu's Tapeworms" is totally my new all-purpose epithet and swear word.

THE RINSE #1

THE RINSE #1
Script by: Gary Phillips
Illustrated by: Marc Laming
Boom! Studios

The weight of dirty money is extreme;
To clean it takes all our man, Jeff, has got.
These densely inked and colored pages seem
As complex as the dense, absorbing plot.
The baseball metaphor is apt; our man
Is cerebral e'en for this kind of crook.
That's not to say your crime and action fan
Won't find what she is after in this book.
There's chases, punch-outs, one hellacious twist
And this is the first issue! So I'll say,
I'm glad (belatedly) that my pull list
Had this one on it. Oh, and by the way,
It looks fantastic! Darrin Moore, huzzah!
Those colors warm it up, fill me with awe.

Debris #1

DEBRIS #1
Script by: Kurtis J. Wiebe
Illustrated by: Riley Rossimo
Image Comics

When Kurt & Riley make a comic, I,
For one cannot resist. This time the art
Is less impressionist than GREEN WAKE. Fly,
You cyber-chicken things! Be still my heart!
The jormungand are coming! They're the most
Apparent threat, but not the only ones.
Our hero, Maya, spears them in this post-
Apocalyptic world, but this tale runs
More subtle than the action might suggest.
The last tribe in the last town -- we have known
This story ere this comic, but the best
Tropes do appear a lot. What makes this pwn
In part, though, is the colors, glorious!
A Bechdel-passing heroine's a plus!

XENOHOLICS #1

XENOHOLICS #1
Script by: Joshua Williamson
Illustrated by: Seth Damoose
Image Comics

Crap circles -- and that's not a typo -- in
Times Square! For just this reason if no more
This comic's gold! Its characters have been
Abductees many times, they claim. What for,
Just like the aliens, doth vary from
Account to mad account. What these folks want
Is more than just belief, though. They've succumbed
To alien addiction, and they flaunt
Their problems in crazed meetings, like A.A.
Cartooniness abounds. They've read their Chew,
These guys, and that's no bad thing, I would say,
But I'm not sure this premise, carried through
A series, has the story legs it needs.
The characters will tell, as this proceeds.

MYSTERY IN SPACE One-Shot

MYSTERY IN SPACE
Anthology
Written by: Duane Swierczynski, Andy Diggle, Ming Doyle, Anne Nocenti, Nnedi Okorafor, Steve Orlando, Robert Rodi, Kevin McCarthy and Mike Allred
Illustrated by: Ramon Bachs, David Gianfelice, Ming Doyle, Fred Harper, Michael Wm. Kaluta, Francesco Trifogli, Sebastian Flumara, Kyle Baker and Mike Allred
Vertigo Comics

Prosthetics envy! But wait: there's a twist!
Rebellion 'gainst computer overlords!
Dilated space-time postpones lovers' trysts!
Sea-Honeymooners crushed out of their gourds!
Exotic fauna! Flying ranger chick!
Centaurs choose man-horse minds or horse-man bods!
Space junk removal becomes politics!
Mindblowing after-death trips: we are gods
(Or parts of one at least)! There's something for
Most any kind of sci-fi fan in here,
And ev'ry taste in art. Do I want more?
Not at the moment; glutted now, I fear,
Am I. But I'll say this: there are no duds.
I'd recommend to all of my buds.

DAN THE UNHARMABLE #1

DAN THE UNHARMABLE #1
Script by David Lapham
Illustrated by Rafael Ortiz
Avatar Press

The Dude abides; Dan takes that further yet.
He can't be hurt or bothered any way.
The beatings he can take? Worst those can get!
Like unto superheroes, one might say.
But Dan here likes it seedy, just wants slack,
And woe to those who bring him to the end
Of patience. Looks like Zappa, takes no flak,
Has learned how to make do with just one friend,
A toothbrush and some Melvins. Avatar,
You've got me hooked on wrong again, you sick
And lovely bastards. Comics crusty, far
Too smelly, violent and simply thick
With awesome. Lapham's got another hit.
And as for Ortiz, he is just the *spit*.

ATOMIC ROBO PRESENTS REAL SCIENCE ADVENTURES #1

ATOMIC ROBO PRESENTS REAL SCIENCE ADVENTURES #1
Stories by: Brian Clevinger
Art by Ryan Cody, Yuko Oda, Chris Houghton, John Broglia & Joshua Ross

Banana oil! Five stories in one book
All set in Robo's wacky world! My one
Complaint is that they're all too short, but look
One tale is Dr. Dinosaurs, more fun
Than I can here describe. It's fun to see
New illustrators, though I do miss Scott.
Amusing, too, to see one with Bruce Lee.
There's one as well which has no Robo plot,
"To Kill a Sparrow" -- spies in World War II
In Vichy France -- but there, of course, is room
For him to come in any time. Then you
Have one, uncolored, in which all goes boom
Aboard a wizard's rocket. But the best
By far is the velociraptor's jest.

PETER PANZERFAUST #1

PETER PANZERFAUST #1
Script by: Kurtis J. Wiebe
Illustrated by: Tyler Jenkins
Image Comics

French orphans caught in Calais: World War Two
Had many tragedies, but ne'er before
Could children fly away from Nazis! You
May find it strange, as I do, but there's more:
For Peter Pan's American, tracking down
A girl he once new long ago and lost.
She's somewhere in the Nazi-ridden town
And he shall find her at whate'er the cost!
No sign of Captain Hook as yet; we must
Be patient. All is drawn in pleasing style,
Though Peter's hair's distracting. Pixie dust?
I had anticipated this a while
And I am glad to see that it's as good
As I'd been hoping. More please, if  you would!

Hoax Hunters #0

HOAX HUNTERS #0
Story by: Michael Moreci & Steve Seeley
Illustrated by: J.M. Ringuet
Image Comics

An astronaut who's made of crows? Okay...
Amuck in Russia? Well, of course, I mean
Where else would that thing be? Which is to say
Hoax Hunters has got my attention. Scene
By scene, we're taken through a world in which
Some TV hosts check claims, but what they do
For real is cover up -- a bait-and-switch --
Cry "hoax" on stuff that turns out to be true,
And clean it up. The characters are thin
As yet, but show potential. Men in Black
Meet Mythbusters! So for now, count me in.
The premise is too fun. So guys, don't slack
Keep up like this and I'll keep reading. Bring
The sasquatch on next, would ya? That's the thing.

ABE SAPIEN: THE DEVIL DOES NOT JEST #1

ABE SAPIEN: THE DEVIL DOES NOT JEST #1
Script by: Mike Mignola & John Arcudi
Illustrated by: James Harren
Dark Horse Comics

By far my favorite B.R.P.D.
Is Abe. An action hero of the deep,
On land he's not too shabby either. We
Could do worse than have this James Harren keep
On drawing him, all ropy muscle and
Cheekbones. This book is humorless, but that
Does not mean that it isn't fun. I've scanned
Less gorgeous gore and ichor. For all that
He's come to a deserted house to meet
An old occultist's son, it's no surprise
The story goes all Lovecrafty. 'Tis sweet,
But nothing new. No, Harren takes the prize
For making this an issue that I'd share.
So tell me, how'd those maggots get in there?

THE SECRET HISTORY OF D.B. COOPER #1

THE SECRET HISTORY OF D.B. COOPER #1
Script by: Brian Churilla
Illustrated by: Brian Churilla
Oni Press

Such fun it is to mess with people's minds!
And when there's profit in it, who'd resist
The chance to do it? Other recent finds
Have played upon this theme. But here's a twist
(There always is one): D.B. Cooper, famed
For hijacking a plane and jumping off
Worked for the CIA! They are not named
As yet, but it seems likely. Those who scoff
At such conspiracies perhaps should pass,
But if you did, you would be missing out
On dazzling art. This book is quite a gas!
That I've seen nothing yet I have no doubt;
Churilla gives good comic, ev'ry time.
I'm hypnotized and babbling through this rhyme.

BEASTS OF BURDEN: NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH (ONE-SHOT)

BEASTS OF BURDEN: NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH (ONE-SHOT)
Script by Evan Dorkin
Illustrated by Jill Thompson
Dark Horse Comics

Who doesn't crave some cuteness now and then?
Throw in some funny, and what could it be
But Beasts of Burden! This is one which, when
I read it, leaves me wanting more. Here three
Short stories of brave dogs and kittehs who
Fight evil are presented. They take on
A chicken-stealing goblin, then into
The past they go: a mastiff fights the spawn
Of rooster and reptile, a basilisk,
Blindfolded, yea, and following his nose!
Last undead sheep bring on a sense of risk
In one of our pup friends, force him to close
His eyes and take a rest. O Evan, Jill,
This book of yours is such a pretty thrill!

'68: JUNGLE JIM (ONE-SHOT)

'68: JUNGLE JIM (ONE-SHOT)
Script by Mark Kidwell
Illustrated by Nate Van Dyke & Jay Fotos
Image Comics

A lone survivor deep within the bush
Has gone commando, but inside his head
Sound orders from the man who led the push.
This boy believes it's his fault sarge is dead,
But still a menace in the jungle. Jim
Is now a zombie seargent, but his gear
Defends another now. Just look at him!
This comic's long on gore, if not on fear,
And plenty coarse, befitting an insane
And violent premise. Now that it's a thing,
This zombie/Vietnam concoction, fain
It look as good as this, please, if a string
Of others must appear. A little bit
Is fine, but too much and I'll start to spit.

SAUCER COUNTRY #1

SAUCER COUNTRY #1
Script by Paul Cornell
Illustrated by Ryan Kelly
DC Vertigo

Oh lord, so much potential page by page!
To start with, our main character's a dame
I'd like to see in real life, in this age
Of politics and spite, unwanted fame

And fame pursued. Her run for president
Looks promising (Ex Machina, but more!),
Her staff all fascinating, smart and bent --
Not one of them a type, not one a bore.
Well maybe one's a type, but we shall see.
She's governor right now, New Mexico,
Divorced, hispanic, and an abductee --
So is she running on her own? We know
She has been told that she belongs to them,
But is that so? This book seems like a gem.

CHEW #20

CHEW #20
Script by John Layman
Illustratoed by Rob Guillory
Image Comics

No more asemic writing in the sky,
But plenty in the writings, buildings, brains
Of members of a new cult? This is why
I keep on reading Chew: it e'er contains
Such craziness, rewards attention to
Its details (like the Kool Aid!), and yet still
Can balance story arcs with small tales. Who
The leader is, we learn: don't cross her will.
Meanwhile our Tony's former mentor's own
Is diabolical, just like the man
Whom we find going nuts again, alone
And tripping on some case-blood. There's a man
Whom we can fear: a cyborg gourmand. Yet,
Whatever did he see? I cannot bet.

THE BULLETPROOF COFFIN DISINTERRED #5

THE BULLETPROOF COFFIN DISINTERRED #5
Script by David Hine
Illustrated by Shaky Kane
Image Comics

A tarot bubblegum card deck depicts
Cutscenes from yet another zombie tale.
Like '68, this one-shot gets its kicks
From setting it in Vietnam. The stale
Is quite intended; Hines and Kane have seized
The pulpy homage ground. Last time I liked
It better for the story arc, diseased
And trippy as it was. But now it's spiked
With too much digging in my ribs. The art
Is still a gas, but I really miss Steve,
His costume and the Men in Black. The cart
Is leading all the horses, I believe
This time around. Don't get me wrong' it's fun,
Just not as good as other stuff they've done.

DIAL H #1

DIAL H #1

Script by: China Mieville

Illustrated by: Mateus Santolouco

DC Comics

When China writes, Baroque grotesquerie
Is sure to manifest. I do not know
The series this reboots, but here I see
He's well-matched with an artist! I could go
Quite mad just looking at these layouts. Here
We have Boy Chimney, spindly-limbed, verbose
And crazy; later, robbing all of cheer,
An emo hero, Captain Lachrymose!
Your tears just make him strong! Ideas abound
As this phone booth transforms its users and
Mieville's warped constructions come to life.
The story's thin so far, but my demand
Is whetted nonetheless. A hero's strife
Is not my thing, but sometimes a girl must
Let prejudice be ground into the dust.

MIND MGMT #1

MIND MGMT #1
Written & Illustrated by Matt Kindt
Dark Horse Originals

An idea just as creepy as it sounds
But kept here to the edges, shadows, bent
Around our vision's corners, out of bounds
A sometime bureau called Mind Management
Is probably behind Miss Meru's tale
Of chasing down survivors of a flight
Struck by amnesia, one missing male
By name of Henry Lyme, he who just might
Be a rogue agent of that agency
Manipulating thoughts, perceptions, and
Reality. I'm so on board to see
Where all this goes, my brains have turned to sand.
Just tell me when the next one's out. I'll buy.
Matt Kindt has dazzled me. Yes, he's my guy.

CASANOVA: AVARITIA I

Casanova: Avaritia I
Script by Matt Fraction
Art by Gabriel Ba
Marvel Icon

God damn it, I think I just went insane.
I feel that way each time I enter this
Deranging journey through brane after brane.
Will Casanova kill or will he kiss
The woman in the buggy/carplane seat?
And will he ever manage to repair
The damage caused by his abduction? Neat!
Insanity? O brother, can you spare
A neuron? Because mine have all blown out.
One page has sixteen universes. Yes.
Collect them all, then pause, and then just shout
"O Fraction, Ba, this is one great hot mess!"
"When did all this turn out to be my fault?"
I'm glad I have this crazy for my vault.

Revival #1

Revival #1
Script by Tim Seely
Illustrated by Mike Norton
Image Comics

Farm noir, they say? So what's that even mean?
I'll tell you what. It's creepy on a scale
Both intimate and cosmic. There's a scene
Wherein a zombie grandma turns to flail
And kills with just a scythe sweep, doesn't care
Because her teeth keep growing back and she
Must yank them out, because she cannot bear
To be without her dentures. Which means we
Have not seen zombie horror quite like this.
The undead all remember, can still speak
And feel unholy. Meanwhile their small town
Is quarantined (but gorgeous!). Where it's weak
Is exposition dialogue. I frown
On this unsubtlety in what should be
The greatest zombie comic we may see.

Rich Johnston's CAPTAIN AMERICAN IDOL #1

Rich Johnston's Captain American Idol #1
Script by Rich Johnston
Illustrated by Chris Haley
Boom! Studios

I've never watched the show or read the books
This comic skewers, but that matters not.
In broad, cartoonish art that really looks
Just right for looniness like this, it's got
A gimmicky and foolish charm. We start
With Steve, stars in his eyes, skinny and small,
Obeying prompts of patriotic heart
To join the USO and give his all
In World War II. He first must be a hit
On radio reality, though, so
He's put on Gordon Ramsay's wicked spit
(Don't ask) in preparation for the show.
He kills it, but then for his grand encore
Must rescue all the soldiers he sang for?

FRANKENSTEIN ALIVE, ALIVE! #1

Frankenstein, Alive, Alive! #1
Script by Steve Niles
Illustrated by Bernie Wrightson
IDW Comics

O Wrightson! More than anyone, you bring
Belief this Monster's made from dead men's flesh.
A noseless face, a tireless pace, this thing
Indicts all his creators now afresh
From his place in a circus sideshow, as
He flashes back to life after the man
Who made him quite disowned him. No one has
A conscience who creates, it seems, no plan,
Then frightened by autonomy, and yet:
Just look into those heavy-lidded eyes.
The years have brought compassion, I would bet,
As I'd expect when scripted by Steve Niles.
Whatever. I just I want to know how he
Survived volcano's fires to bring me glee!